Last night, the Lord continued talking to me in ways that only He can. I felt so close to Him. I thought about the things He taught me earlier in the day and just felt in awe of how that He had drove the simple, yet profound lessons straight to my heart.
I began to face my fears. I began taking a look at the things that have been holding me back.
Then, I gave them to Him. The fears. The questions. I told Him that He could perform His plan in me even if it required using an avenue that terrified me. I let Him know that I wanted to go forward. I wanted to fulfill the life that I was born to live. The one He had already set into place long before my eyes even saw the light of day.
He showed me that when He created me, He already knew the areas that I would struggle. He knew that I would have problem areas and short comings. Did that mean He made His creation with flaws? That's when He showed me that I wasn't created with flaws; I was unfinished. At the thought that He created me unfinished seemed a little unsettling at first, but then He told me something else. I was a work in progress! I was so relieved to finally grasp this truth! I wasn't created less than perfect I am still being created! I realize now that He is still molding me, still shaping me, still creating me into that person that I'm intended to be! What a load lifted off of my shoulders when I finally realized that it wasn't just up to me to fix all the areas in my life. I had to become willing to let Him complete what He started.
Now that I faced my fear, I had to release all the questions. Why did God let certain things happen to me? Why did God allow me to experience pain? Why, why, why???
Then, I did it. I let them go. I told the Lord that He didn't have to tell me why. He didn't have to explain the reasons for everything to me. I trusted Him, and I meant it. After I did this, something happened. I don't know exactly what but I know it did. Maybe only eternity will tell, but I know something happened right then, right there, at that exact moment. I believe this is when I truly let Him know that I was ready to go forward. January 11, 2013, will forever be a monumental milestone in my life.