It just so happens that my new blog was opened on a very special day! My oldest son's birthday! I still remember the day he was born just like it was a matter of weeks ago. I'd just been through two crushing miscarriages when I found out that he was on the way.
I was so afraid of losing him too. I fretted everyday that I would start seeing the signs of miscarriage. I prayed so hard that God would allow this pregnancy to be healthy. Then, the dreaded day came. I was around six weeks along and started spotting a little. I was devastated! We had just started revival at church and the preacher's wife was due around the exact same time I was so I'm sure she could feel my fear. People wanted to pray for me but I told them it wouldn't do any good because I just didn't feel like I had the faith believe.
There is a special thing about our God, however, that I was failing to see at that moment. God is like a parent. He wasn't angry with me because I was scared. He wasn't mad that I didn't seem to have abounding faith when I felt so low. In fact, He understood and He cared.
I knelt down before Him with a broken heart and something amazing happened! My faith began to rise and so did my hope! People began praying for me while my Lord embraced me in His love. Within 24 hours everything was completely normal!
Now, 14 years later, on this exact day, I'm celebrating the life of a handsome young man that God gave to me even though my faith seemed gone. Now, I realize, I didn't lose my faith at all, I had just lost sight of it!
Happy 14th Birthday, Son, you are truly our precious gift from God! We love you!